[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.9s] You hear like a crackling and almost like this sucking noise as it pulls in towards
[10.2s] you from the outside looking in it pulls in towards you until the room is clear and
[18.0s] you are in the middle of this almost military line of this room of complete of undead lax.
[32.4s] My goodness, it's been so long.
[36.6s] What we've brought is death and the end of you is sort of more what we were thinking.
[46.8s] You do have an undead army, but if we can kill you, I suppose that's enough to keep
[51.1s] them immobile.
[52.1s] Thelonious' scream begins to echo out as the shield around him wavers, this fireball
[57.2s] erupting and creating heat throughout the entire space and with an echoing crack.
[62.8s] Thelonious throws his hands together and every single undead creature along the floor
[70.6s] of this cavern begins to move towards you.
[77.3s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[78.5s] I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More, He-Him also with me today is Kyle Clasett.
[82.7s] Oh, hey, what's up, everyone?
[84.3s] I'm Kyle Clasett, He-Him, and I am just dang excited to be here every single time.
[90.5s] You know, it makes my evening, my day, my week.
[93.6s] And Rev DeShane.
[94.6s] Oh, I thought I was going last.
[97.3s] I'm Rev He-Him and I am playing Margaret Broadcloak, She-Her.
[101.6s] We're playing reverse order today.
[103.1s] Amy More is here with us.
[104.8s] I am She-Her and I too am just happy to be here.
[109.8s] I don't know who I'm playing.
[113.0s] I'm getting to that point.
[114.0s] I'm really starting to feel like at home, just not knowing what I'm going to play.
[118.0s] Yeah, just going to lean into it, figure out what happens.
[120.8s] Well, that's what improv is.
[122.6s] Exactly.
[123.8s] And Carla Maxted.
[125.3s] She-Her, I love that like you guys are one of us, like first intros in the list.
[132.7s] I love it.
[133.7s] I love it.
[135.8s] I will be playing Lex, He-Him for sure.
[139.7s] And then let's see what happens.
[142.5s] And Tom Laird.
[143.5s] Yeah, that's me, He-Him.
[145.5s] I am playing Perseus tonight and maybe others.
[149.8s] We'll find out.
[150.8s] Stay tuned.
[152.2s] I like the maybe others because last time I had to edit some things out because characters
[157.5s] just didn't show up.
[162.5s] Only because Flanks and Japes were just so entertaining.
[165.1s] Also, you probably kind of left all of that in and people would have been like,
[168.9s] oh yeah, I see why they didn't get to the scene.
[171.9s] There's new stars of the show.
[175.9s] The Flanks and Japes podcast coming at you.
[177.9s] Do you think we might save the day, Kyle?
[179.9s] I don't know.
[180.9s] We'll see what happens.
[181.9s] Whisked out of the action only to come back and save the day in the end.
[185.8s] That's right.
[186.8s] Through a series of tunnels and vents inside of this cave?
[190.1s] Yes.
[191.1s] I know where we are.
[194.9s] Now I had a good segue for a few sentences back, so I'm just going to go to that
[199.2s] one.
[200.2s] And where you're the star of the show is over on Patreon.com slash thumb dragging
[203.7s] cast.
[204.7s] Good rewind, hon.
[205.7s] Yes.
[206.7s] Nice.
[207.7s] Felt good.
[208.7s] Felt good.
[210.5s] If you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron,
[213.5s] Riley Bradshaw.
[214.5s] There we go.
[215.5s] Thanks, Riley.
[216.5s] Thanks, Riley.
[217.5s] Thank you so much.
[218.5s] I wonder how many Carrie Bradshaw references you get, Riley.
[221.7s] Because Bradshaw, that's the only other time I've ever heard the Bradshaw name.
[224.9s] Terry Bradshaw?
[225.9s] Terry Bradshaw.
[226.9s] I mean, long time NFL quarterback and pundit, if you will.
[230.9s] Oh, all the sports.
[231.9s] You're right.
[232.9s] I'm sorry.
[233.9s] I forgot about the sports.
[234.9s] Thank you, Riley.
[235.9s] Join us today at Patreon.com slash thumb dragging cast.
[236.9s] And now, fuck it, let's play.
[239.9s] We're going to play a little rewind here to catch up to other characters.
[245.9s] Oh, boy.
[246.9s] Why do I feel like I'm already not prepared?
[250.9s] I'm confused.
[257.1s] We see a lavish and luxurious office space that is inside of this caved dwelling.
[270.5s] There are rich tapestries hanging from the walls and many leather-bound books on the
[277.9s] most mahogany-est of bookshelves.
[283.0s] There are decanters all around with different types of liqueurs and liquors.
[289.6s] And seated behind a massive desk with almost candlesticks, but like tiny pedestals, like
[296.8s] skulls and different bones of different creatures is Thelonious Primsbane, who's writing
[308.7s] a ledger book, just kind of neatly humming to himself.
[315.7s] And there's a ring finger that we will add here and a, what do we have here?
[322.6s] We have an orbital socket, not even the whole thing, just neat and clean.
[329.5s] We're going to put that one just in the stores for a little bit later.
[334.2s] And we hear a slow, shambled footstep coming into the room, just a thump-drag, thump-drag.
[347.1s] He looks up and we see a person for all intents and purposes who's undead, who lets
[354.5s] out a low groan as they enter the room.
[358.9s] And Thelonious looks up and says, uh, yes, uh-huh.
[364.1s] We have company.
[366.4s] Oh, I'll let them in.
[368.5s] Undead turns and walks out and in strides a tall dragonborn.
[375.7s] Kyle, would you describe Vorunax at this stage in his career and life?
[383.4s] I feel like Vorunax at this point has achieved the station he's been after and
[389.1s] he's a go-getter.
[389.9s] Now that he's gotten to that certain point in the MLM of Orcus's regime, he's
[397.0s] getting after it and his scales are more vibrant green and his cloaks are way,
[404.9s] way nicer than they have been maybe in the future or our past.
[411.3s] Time is fun, but he definitely carries himself with purpose and not so
[419.6s] much with a vendetta as he has in previous episodes.
[425.2s] Can I can I help you?
[427.3s] Thelonious, I am recently appointed as head undead general for Orcus and seems
[438.2s] like you've been utilizing some of the, well, troops that we could be using.
[444.7s] Oh, well, I mean, yeah, I mean, me and Orcus, we go way back.
[448.9s] He knows he knows the deal we had, one of which I was able to practice my goods
[457.9s] and services and unleash them upon the various realms within the stations across
[466.3s] Toriel, take down and smite those who have wronged me in the past and then
[474.1s] just be left to have my own accord and volition without anybody coming and
[478.7s] collecting any sort of tax purpose.
[481.2s] Oh, no taxes being collected.
[483.6s] No need to worry about that.
[485.3s] Worried about a sheriff situation here.
[488.5s] No, no, no.
[489.9s] Sharing is caring, but sheriffing is, I don't know how to finish that one,
[494.1s] but it doesn't matter.
[495.0s] I'm here because it's, we need you to fulfill a role, distraction, if you
[502.1s] will.
[502.9s] Once I heard of your endeavors and the things that you have gone after, I, I
[507.7s] have to say I have a modicum of respect for your approach, even though it falls
[512.8s] outside of the, of the efforts of Orcus, you're kind of on your own whim,
[518.0s] but Orcus allowing you to do what you do, the time has come that you help us.
[524.1s] Well, it's like a symbiotic relationship where I do what I want and
[530.6s] Orcus does what they want.
[532.9s] I'm afraid you didn't hear me.
[537.4s] Orcus is doing what he wants and I am letting you know he's doing what he
[540.9s] wants and he wants you to run a distraction so that we can further our
[546.9s] endeavors in new places.
[549.5s] We need to draw people away so that we can muster our forces.
[554.4s] Okay.
[554.7s] Can you do that?
[555.3s] Do you even have the ability to do that?
[557.4s] Do you have actually have a good command over your troops that you've
[559.8s] summoned up?
[560.8s] Do I have a good command over my troops that I have summoned up?
[564.5s] I have, I can snap a finger and they do whatever I want.
[567.4s] Good, sir.
[569.0s] Then snap your finger and make them do what Orcus wants.
[575.1s] Any questions?
[576.3s] What does Orcus want?
[579.2s] Run the distraction.
[580.6s] Okay.
[580.9s] I'll run the distraction.
[581.8s] Yeah.
[582.2s] Yeah, I can do a distraction.
[583.5s] Smoke and mirrors.
[584.3s] Uh, you know, I've got a little thing going on here in just a little bit.
[588.1s] Uh, there's some people coming to see me.
[590.9s] It could be, it could be a good distraction.
[592.6s] Could be a little good show you what I can do now.
[596.9s] That's a good point.
[597.5s] Cause if you can't actually fulfill what Orcus wants, then we're
[600.3s] wasting our time here.
[602.0s] I tell you what, I'll watch this, whatever you have coming up, see how
[607.1s] you perform, and if I think it's worth Orcus's time to actually have
[611.1s] you draw attention to yourself as to draw attention away from us, then
[616.7s] we'll move forward with the plan.
[617.9s] If not, Orcus help you.
[620.9s] Cause I certainly won't.
[624.2s] There's a small jingle of like a bell up on a, on a wall tied to a string.
[632.5s] Thelonious has like this shit eating grin on as, as Vorunax is finishing
[639.0s] his, his dialogue and he said, Oh, well, just so matter of fact, it
[645.9s] sounds like they're on their way.
[647.7s] So if you just follow me down this hall over here and he gets up and kind of
[651.1s] skips past Vorunax, if you just follow me, we're just going to, uh, he glances
[659.3s] at some runes on the wall and rubs his hand across them and you hear like
[664.1s] this, like almost like a power going down, just walk this way with me.
[671.7s] Walk, walk this way.
[673.1s] That sounds very good.
[674.3s] Uh, follow me.
[676.7s] Lead the way.
[677.7s] Skips down the hall, Vorunax entail and leads him to this chamber that is
[684.2s] completely black says, just keep your voice down.
[688.2s] I mean, they can't hear you, but it adds to the illusion that they, they
[692.2s] could, and we're being very sneaky, even though magic makes it so that we
[696.2s] don't really need to be sneaky, uh, smoke and mirrors.
[701.3s] Good start.
[706.9s] We cut ahead.
[708.8s] Thelonious is standing in his sphere of protection and he's beckoning to
[716.7s] Vorunax who is standing just off and to the side on, uh, he's on top of
[721.3s] this dais, he's, he's, Vorunax you see him just like ushering you over
[726.0s] big hands, big arms, almost like he's screaming, but you can't hear him
[729.8s] because you know that this spell that he has dampened sound or deadened
[734.4s] sound rather.
[735.6s] Vorunax walks over, you stroll in and it's almost like these panels begin
[740.6s] to like shift and move away as you enter the sphere and he, uh, as they
[744.9s] open, you hear him screaming.
[746.4s] He's like, this isn't going exactly as planned.
[749.5s] And they shut behind you.
[752.2s] It's okay.
[753.1s] It's okay.
[753.5s] We have more planned.
[755.6s] Uh, they are in the middle of all of the undead, so it seems like
[759.6s] this is going to go really well.
[762.1s] Okay.
[762.9s] Let's see if you can turn this out.
[764.4s] This is not boding well for you.
[767.3s] Um, there are certainly plenty of others that we could seek out, but
[772.5s] this could, this could, you turn this around, this could look good for you.
[775.5s] Plenty of others.
[776.2s] What do you mean there's plenty of others?
[777.4s] You, there's, there's no one that's doing what I'm doing.
[780.6s] You see the craftsmanship down there?
[783.1s] Not yet.
[784.6s] Not yet.
[785.8s] That moment he turns around and this is where Lex is running up the dais.
[791.3s] And you see his eyes turned from this milky white to this dark black and
[796.1s] a fireball erupts, blasting you back and into the surrounding undead.
[803.7s] They are beginning to move over top of you.
[805.9s] Margaret, pretty sure we had you placed still on the dais.
[810.2s] Perseus, you are running around Pac-Manning undead, but they are
[814.0s] closing in on you as well.
[815.5s] And Arvid is blasting spells around, trying to keep them off
[818.8s] of you as you're doing this.
[821.9s] Uh, I will fly over to Lex and get back to back with him.
[827.7s] Fly over?
[829.0s] Uh, I have the boots that fly.
[831.0s] Right, you have the boots that fly.
[833.6s] Forget that Margaret's fucking bad ass.
[839.3s] I love this Margaret and Lex like 80s action cop buddy movie poster
[844.6s] that we're going for here.
[845.6s] She's like way too fucking old for this.
[847.7s] Like one day away from retirement sliced alone film.
[853.8s] Don't stop her.
[854.5s] My mom will stop her.
[855.3s] My grandma will stop her.
[857.5s] My mom will shoot.
[858.2s] Yeah, that's good.
[861.2s] You fly over and you land next to Lex.
[864.1s] And then I mean, really we're just going to try and I
[867.3s] shouldn't speak for Margaret.
[868.3s] I'm just going to try and do whatever damage I can since I'm,
[871.9s] we're kind of in the middle of a big circle of undead.
[876.2s] Can I, as a bonus action, cast searing smite?
[882.4s] Sure.
[882.9s] Just so I can do some extra damage.
[885.3s] Want to make some contact with my greatsword.
[889.5s] Yeah, absolutely.
[890.4s] Dope.
[891.1s] So I have three attacks.
[892.6s] I rolled them all at once.
[894.1s] That's a 21, a 22, and a 26.
[899.1s] Roll me some damage.
[901.1s] Great.
[903.9s] 36 and then an extra D6 of fire damage.
[909.6s] So that's, oh, you need to do a con save.
[913.5s] Nine.
[914.6s] Then someone's taking one, no, five fire damage.
[920.7s] Okay, cool.
[921.5s] Margaret comes down, lands next to you.
[923.5s] Lex, you spread your greatsword wide and you're hacking heads off all around you.
[931.7s] Popping off like popcorn all around you and falling to the ground.
[934.9s] Bodies are falling limp and immediately in behind them more are crushing forward.
[940.7s] Margaret, I'd love a little help.
[943.5s] Yeah, Margaret will start swinging her Mace of Disruption.
[948.8s] An 18 and a 25.
[952.3s] Yep, both of those are hit.
[953.6s] 12 for the first one and 20 for the second.
[958.3s] Greatsword flying and Mace crushing down these bodies around you.
[963.5s] And as you take out eight or nine of them combined, the forces push forward there.
[971.5s] Armin, you got any plans here?
[974.5s] Plans, sir.
[975.6s] Well, you know me, I do enjoy a good plan.
[982.4s] Yeah, I know.
[983.2s] But like, what's the one for right now?
[984.9s] What do we got going on right now, right here?
[987.0s] Well, what I've been doing is protecting you as you nom, nom, chomp, chomp on top of all of these baddies.
[996.9s] Perhaps we see, hmm, well, this is this could be good.
[1006.7s] This could be good.
[1007.7s] If you can just if you can just clear just a moment, I can summon perhaps some help.
[1013.4s] Oh, I very much like the sound of help showing up.
[1015.9s] Yeah, let's do it.
[1016.7s] Great, great, great, great, great.
[1017.8s] And, you know, I don't want to like culturally appropriate here, but, you know, like when in martial arts movies, they fight with, like, fans.
[1026.8s] Sure, yeah.
[1028.0s] I'm going to do that.
[1028.7s] But with this bag, yeah, I will become the bag in the wind from American Beauty.
[1036.8s] OK, so like Perseus like flip, skip and jump and smack and like almost a Jackie Chan style endeavor.
[1045.5s] Great.
[1046.3s] A real crouching tiger vibe going on here.
[1048.4s] What's your class again?
[1050.6s] I am a halfling warlock.
[1056.3s] Cool.
[1056.7s] But that ain't going to stop me.
[1057.9s] That ain't going to stop you.
[1059.6s] I have spells.
[1060.4s] I've been using a bag.
[1064.8s] Yeah, I do have spells, but like the one spell I want to use, like, just vanishes me away from Arvid.
[1072.5s] And I don't think that's very fair.
[1076.3s] Good luck protecting me.
[1077.1s] Yeah, what's your plan?
[1078.4s] Peace.
[1079.2s] Yeah, sounds awful.
[1080.5s] I'm out.
[1081.1s] So I've chosen to go for the bag fighting route instead.
[1084.4s] Love it.
[1084.8s] With the bag flying, keeping them at bay as Arvid, his eyes roll back into his head
[1111.3s] and he's casting runes a la Doctor Strange, that kind of vibe.
[1117.1s] A portal opens up off to the side of him and you hear this like hideous screech yell out of it.
[1128.4s] As this aberrant spirit presses forth, it's got like these hideously long claws.
[1136.3s] It's ghostly yet dripping with something, kind of like this ectoplasm.
[1145.4s] It's slimer, obviously, with long claws.
[1150.6s] This slimer comes out and like tears its way through this portal and it's going to slash for one.
[1161.1s] That's OK.
[1162.1s] And then also it has an eye ray.
[1164.8s] So blasting out of its big one eye slimer eye, it shoots the same ectoplasmic ray that cuts through two or three of them as it begins carving around.
[1181.5s] Does this thing seem to have like, does Arvid have control of this thing?
[1184.8s] I know I'm not in here.
[1186.0s] I'm just a curious listener at this point.
[1190.3s] Does Arvid have control of this thing or is it like letting out a wild animal?
[1194.8s] And it's just like, just stay away from it.
[1199.0s] That was pretty cool, wasn't it?
[1201.9s] I mean, it was it was pretty great.
[1204.3s] Cool. Did you see my cool bag dance?
[1206.1s] Oh, dude, bags were flying.
[1209.1s] It made me bring this aberrant spirit.
[1211.0s] I've never, never called one before.
[1214.7s] Thought now was a great time.
[1218.1s] My patron was like, hey, you should probably do this a little while ago.
[1221.3s] And I was like, there's going to be a time and a place for it.
[1225.0s] I mean, I always listen to my patron when he's got suggestions, so I hear you on that one.
[1232.8s] It's Thelonious' turn and he is like, he's standing up on the dais, just like angry panting and making fists, just like raging within himself, seething as he's looking down at his,
[1250.1s] as he would probably put it, his children being slaughtered before him.
[1255.5s] He turns and he looks to Varnax.
[1256.9s] This is not a true sign of what I can do.
[1261.5s] There are what, one, two, four of them?
[1266.0s] There's still hundreds, hundreds of them.
[1268.8s] No, yeah, you and these four are proving an issue for you.
[1275.5s] You'll be but a blip in time with this kind of endeavor.
[1279.9s] Thelonious turns and yells out into the cavern and emanating from his mouth are these waves of energy that begin rocking and vibrating the walls.
[1297.9s] And you hear cracking starting to happen in the cavern.
[1302.8s] Rocks begin to fall down.
[1305.7s] Everybody make a dexterity saving throw.
[1309.9s] Varnax, you're fine, you're behind.
[1311.5s] What about Flanks?
[1313.4s] Flanks and Japes are in an adjacent chamber, you're OK.
[1316.8s] Yeah, OK.
[1317.5s] Is he breaking this whole shit down?
[1319.5s] We'll catch up with Flanks and Japes if we feel like their lives are in.
[1322.6s] No, we won't, it's OK.
[1327.9s] That is a 19.
[1329.7s] Was that a 10 for Lex?
[1332.7s] 17.
[1333.7s] Not more of a shambling kind of guy, not really a Dex kind of guy.
[1339.0s] Lex, you're struck on your side.
[1342.0s] You're not crushed, but you're struck by a large boulder that falls down.
[1346.3s] You're going to take 15 bludgeoning.
[1349.7s] You could take half that because Margaret takes half.
[1352.1s] That's nice of Margaret.
[1353.7s] She's so good to have around.
[1355.6s] With that scream, though, also, some of the undead are also crushed by the falling boulders, collateral damage.
[1364.1s] But they seem to pick up in fervor and they are going to rush all of you.
[1370.4s] Everybody make a actually roll some damages or attacks.
[1376.4s] One of them still on fire from my from my smite.
[1380.3s] So that one can take one damage.
[1384.0s] That one drops to the ground.
[1386.1s] I turned the tide, you guys.
[1387.6s] You did it.
[1388.6s] Could have could have had a flaming zombie situation, but it dropped.
[1392.0s] It's good against Margaret.
[1395.0s] It was a 17 against Lex.
[1398.3s] It was a crit fail.
[1400.1s] That's the flaming one.
[1401.2s] Obviously, it didn't hit Margaret, I assume.
[1405.9s] Perseus.
[1406.9s] Geez, these zombies are great.
[1409.1s] That's going to be a six.
[1410.9s] And Arvid is he only has an armor class of 11.
[1415.7s] So he's going to get hit.
[1417.3s] So nobody takes any damage except for Arvid,
[1420.5s] who's going to take a claw attack.
[1423.9s] He's going to take eight.
[1425.3s] Everybody else make a strength saving throw
[1429.3s] as you are crashed into by a wave of these undead.
[1435.3s] Seventeen, 17 dirty 20.
[1439.7s] Percy is your first to see it.
[1442.3s] The cacophony going on.
[1444.1s] I don't know if either of you would be able to make it out.
[1447.3s] Percy is your first to see it.
[1448.3s] But Arvid goes down.
[1449.8s] OK, a crushing wave of these undead are now on top of him.
[1457.5s] Let me just take a look at my spell list here.
[1460.0s] We cut to Varanauts.
[1462.3s] It's your turn to take an action if you wish,
[1464.4s] or narrate some some looking down upon as you
[1469.2s] some desire.
[1471.4s] I think at this point and.
[1475.3s] Stop me if this if this inner intrudes too much,
[1479.4s] I think at this point Varanauts is like now and maybe like,
[1486.3s] well, it was a good run, but I'm afraid you're done.
[1490.9s] And he's going to attack Thelonious attack Thelonious
[1494.5s] back turn Thelonious.
[1496.3s] Yeah, I'll pull out the wand of Orcus
[1500.4s] and I'll just use power word kill on Thelonious.
[1502.7s] OK, remind me what I have to do for power word kill
[1506.3s] to not be power word kill.
[1508.5s] They just have to be over 100 hit points.
[1511.6s] OK, he is over 100 hit points currently.
[1514.3s] And I'll do that and be like.
[1517.3s] I guess there are more stipulations to Orcus's power than I thought.
[1522.6s] Say Lavi, but I'm afraid your demonstration is over.
[1527.0s] My demonstration is over and you try and stab me in the back.
[1530.9s] You come in here and tell me that I'm under some sort of test
[1535.5s] right as I'm trying to get.
[1539.2s] He is mad.
[1545.0s] That's that's everybody in the run.
[1548.0s] Let's jump back to Lex and or Mark.
[1552.1s] How far up are they on the dais from us?
[1555.7s] So you blasted probably
[1559.3s] we'll say like 30 feet from the fireball.
[1562.6s] So Lex got blasted.
[1564.1s] You flew to.
[1565.5s] So it's a 30 feet, another 20 ish feet at a at a at a step up.
[1571.1s] So about 50 feet diagonally up into the dais where they are now
[1576.5s] in a presumed spell battle.
[1579.0s] OK, yeah.
[1580.3s] With these things crushing in on us,
[1582.6s] I'm going to look up at the up of the dais and then at Lex
[1585.8s] and then just fly forward and scoop my arms under hers
[1590.4s] and basically just fly her up and.
[1593.7s] Good luck and throw her towards her intended target.
[1598.8s] OK, I love that.
[1600.0s] I love everything about that.
[1602.5s] OK, Lex, you are in the air up, flying down towards Thelonious.
[1608.2s] Lex is gigantic.
[1609.8s] He's like a big Frankenstein.
[1611.5s] I love this visual.
[1613.7s] Oh, we need some art for this.
[1615.5s] Yeah, it's ridiculous that this Betty White has a 18 strength.
[1620.2s] It's amazing.
[1622.3s] I love it.
[1623.4s] Well, I can't do anything, but the thing I can do is try to stab people.
[1629.5s] But there are still in like a bubble.
[1633.1s] Bubble would have dropped because he's cast a couple of things
[1635.3s] that would have would have negated what he had going on there.
[1638.7s] Then, yeah, I mean,
[1640.3s] I just got to fight with that sword because that's what I got.
[1643.5s] Well, that's handy. 23, 27, 14.
[1648.9s] And against Thelonious, obviously.
[1652.3s] 23, 27, yes, 14, no.
[1657.7s] Man, these rolls are bad.
[1660.4s] 22, damn it.
[1664.1s] Margaret scoops Lex up and out.
[1666.8s] Zombies and undead are like clasping on, swinging their weapons,
[1671.4s] because we said they had weapons trying to get at you.
[1675.3s] You are lifted and propelled into the air and are thrown down upon Thelonious,
[1679.5s] who's turned and facing Vorunax.
[1681.2s] You get two hard hits into him, which brings him down to a knee
[1685.3s] and he turns and he looks at you and he's like seething in veins
[1688.5s] or pulsing from his from his head.
[1691.0s] And you feel these tentacles
[1695.7s] coming shooting up out of the ground towards you
[1698.9s] and wrapping themselves around you and pulling you down.
[1702.2s] Make a strength saving throw.
[1706.3s] These vines, like they develop these spines or thorns.
[1711.9s] You are bound and wrapped by these and feel them pulling and tugging at the flesh
[1718.9s] on your arms and legs and wrapping tight around your torso.
[1723.1s] You were pulled down to two knees and he stands up before you,
[1727.0s] not ready for this yet.
[1729.9s] And he cast Dimension Door beneath you
[1734.3s] and points his hand to the other side of the room
[1739.9s] and throws you 250 feet to the other side of the cavern.
[1745.9s] And you emerge from this almost like pulled
[1749.9s] with force down through the Dimension Door
[1753.2s] out and against the wall.
[1755.4s] And you are going to take
[1758.5s] 22 points of bludgeoning and door piercing.
[1762.6s] Is your ring work 200 feet away, Margaret?
[1765.0s] It does, as long as the person's still wearing it.
[1770.5s] I was just looking to see if it had a range on it.
[1772.4s] Perfect.
[1772.8s] I think I think about what is happening to Lex right now.
[1775.7s] This like huge shambler just got flown by a cute little Betty White
[1780.4s] and then thrown across the room through Dimension Door.
[1784.1s] This isn't a person used to being like tossed around so much.
[1788.6s] So it's pretty jarring.
[1791.3s] Margaret, did you you you flew?
[1793.9s] Did you want to take an action or anything?
[1795.5s] Or was that your action?
[1797.3s] Yeah, I mean, I imagine to to pick Lex up, to fly up there
[1801.6s] and throw them into the place.
[1804.3s] Sounds good. So, yeah, you see
[1806.7s] Lex like disappear into this Dimension Door portal
[1810.5s] and appear, you hear whatever scream Lex would do like, huh?
[1815.8s] And then a like a sickening thud against the back wall
[1819.3s] as they crumble and fall to the ground.
[1824.1s] Let's go back to Perseus and Arvid.
[1826.7s] Arvid has been overrun by undead,
[1830.3s] so we don't actually see them currently.
[1832.8s] There is still the slimer, the aberrant slimer
[1837.9s] blasting and clawing at things around it.
[1839.9s] Perseus, what are you out of curiosity?
[1842.1s] Russ, when Lex laid into Thelonious there,
[1846.2s] did we notice any disruption with the undead horde at all?
[1849.3s] No. OK.
[1852.1s] Just wondering if they were maybe like keyed to his attention.
[1854.9s] Right. Yeah. Sort of thing.
[1856.6s] You could make because he's done a couple of things
[1859.9s] with them leading up to this point.
[1862.4s] If you wanted, you could make an arcana check to see if you
[1866.9s] if that's something you want to do, try and figure out
[1869.0s] what kind of control he has or if he's or what he's doing.
[1872.9s] No, I think I'll pass on that.
[1874.1s] I was just curious if it was like an obvious link or not.
[1878.5s] How far away from that dais is Perseus?
[1884.3s] You were probably another 50 feet back.
[1886.7s] So we'll say a hundred.
[1888.3s] It's just for easy math.
[1889.7s] OK. And do I have eyeballs on Thelonious at all?
[1893.9s] Yeah, yeah, you would, because he's raised up.
[1895.7s] I would also like to cast Dimension Door.
[1898.7s] OK. And I will make my door like 10 feet above him.
[1904.3s] And I would like to drop out of the sky on top of him
[1907.9s] with the bag open up in front of me as I like dive headlong towards him.
[1912.5s] OK. What does it look like as you're casting and as it appears
[1916.8s] before you come out with your Pac-Man?
[1918.9s] So this this Dimension Door is kind of like a green and red.
[1926.6s] Perseus loves Christmas.
[1928.2s] So it's kind of a green and red theme he's got going on there.
[1932.7s] And yeah, it's it's kind of like, you know, he can see where Thelonious is.
[1936.4s] So he just he puts it like just above him.
[1939.9s] So much so that like
[1942.0s] his attention is throwing Lex elsewhere.
[1944.6s] So as long as it's out of sight, like nobody thinks to look up. Right.
[1949.0s] So so that's where he will he'll put that Dimension Door.
[1953.5s] Cool, cool, cool. That happens.
[1955.0s] It's lovely. It's amazing. It's sweet.
[1957.8s] I'm going to do something that you're not going to like.
[1959.7s] Oh, no. Oh, that's fine.
[1961.6s] He's going to cast as as the the door opens above his head.
[1967.2s] He looks up and he's oh, please, dear boy.
[1970.3s] And he cast Counterspell as you are coming through it,
[1975.1s] which in because I want to establish him as a powerful being
[1981.7s] is not just going to shut your door, but rather redirect your door.
[1986.3s] And it's going to open at the top of the cavern.
[1991.5s] Now, do you have to pass some sort of check
[1993.9s] to counter my fifth level spell?
[1995.3s] Do I do it?
[1998.3s] So I need because yours is a fourth level. Yes.
[2003.0s] Fifth level. OK.
[2005.9s] He's like, I do, but I'd rather not.
[2009.8s] The DC equals no equals 10.
[2012.9s] Oh, we'd love Amy to write 10 plus the spells level.
[2017.1s] So 15 using his.
[2027.1s] So that's a 17. OK.
[2030.3s] So as your door opens and you begin to come through,
[2033.8s] he sees you with the bag there.
[2036.1s] Oh, no, no, no.
[2038.1s] Redirects it, the door that you left through closes
[2041.8s] and it opens above the chamber, 250 feet in the air.
[2046.2s] You begin to fall.
[2048.7s] How fast do I fall per like turn?
[2053.1s] Oh, it's fall speed, fall speed, DND.
[2061.0s] I've had to search that one a lot.
[2062.4s] I still can't remember.
[2064.2s] Xanathar's guide to everything says it's 500 feet per round.
[2068.0s] Oh, shit. So you wow.
[2070.7s] So you fall.
[2072.3s] Gravity is crazy on a round, right?
[2074.9s] I thought it would be like running speed doubled.
[2079.5s] So per round, so per six seconds,
[2083.4s] you so it takes three seconds or half a round.
[2085.9s] So you're going to hit the ground before your next turn.
[2088.6s] Is there anything you can or want to do?
[2091.3s] You don't necessarily die when you go in the bag, I don't think.
[2095.0s] If you start your turn in the bag, you die.
[2098.4s] There's going to be a lot of angry heads in that bag looking for you.
[2101.7s] Yes, they are not thrilled if I if I were to hop in that bag.
[2105.8s] No, I don't think there's anything else I can do in my turn.
[2108.9s] I don't think I have any like bonus spells or anything. OK.
[2112.9s] Great. I mean, hard disagree, but all right.
[2116.7s] Arvid has to make a strength saving throw, which he does not make.
[2120.3s] He's going to take a metric
[2123.0s] buttload of damage as he is being eaten alive.
[2128.5s] This is upsetting. Yeah.
[2132.5s] Lex's. Well, I thought if I could take him out,
[2134.4s] the zombies might just like fall over.
[2136.0s] Yeah, that's fair. That's a good option.
[2138.3s] You want to give him 50, 50 damage.
[2142.0s] Yikes. Oh, boy.
[2145.6s] He's bloody.
[2147.0s] Things aren't going the way Lex wanted.
[2148.7s] Now his boyfriends half dead and his best friends
[2153.9s] just fell from the ceiling.
[2156.1s] It's very bad.
[2160.9s] It's the middle.
[2162.1s] Five dollars is the middle over here.
[2164.0s] Six dollars is the middle over there.
[2166.7s] I tried to do like a town crier thing and then ended up to be an auctioneer.
[2170.9s] I was going to say it became an auctioneer.
[2173.0s] I really I thought you were doing like Carnival Barker.
[2176.3s] Like come in just just two bits.
[2178.8s] But then you started yelling higher and higher numbers.
[2181.4s] And I was like, are Amy and I supposed to be bidding, bidding for this game?
[2185.5s] Yeah. No, it. Yep.
[2187.5s] Yeah. Yeah. You're it. Yeah.
[2188.5s] I'm here. I'm here for it.
[2189.5s] Who was six dollars? I think you.
[2191.6s] It was Tom in the back. Tom in the back. Yeah.
[2193.8s] Yeah. He just lifted a paddle.
[2195.7s] I mean, yeah, I think it might have been.
[2197.5s] What I was trying to do was like a town crier thing
[2200.3s] because we have a newsletter and it didn't really at all come across.
[2204.1s] So this is like, oh, hey, you guys, did you know we have a newsletter?
[2209.3s] We do. You see how direct that was?
[2212.3s] That was great. So good.
[2214.3s] So the newsletter is funny and informative
[2218.0s] because it tells you like all the stuff that's coming up
[2220.6s] because some things, you know, rotate like producer meetings
[2224.0s] aren't every month and stuff.
[2225.8s] And it keeps you in the loop because it's her birthday.
[2229.5s] Oh, is somebody somebody's special named Amy.
[2233.9s] So come play with me and also read your newsletter.
[2236.1s] Tons of tons of interesting stuff in there.
[2238.9s] You can sign up for that at dumbdragons.com
[2241.3s] where you can get a lot of things.
[2242.6s] I'm working on redesigning the website.
[2245.0s] It's not done yet.
[2246.5s] So when you go and you're like, Russ, this is the same website.
[2250.0s] Yeah, it is.
[2250.9s] But the new one's coming sometime.
[2254.8s] TBD. But you can sign up for the newsletter there.
[2257.5s] And that's the most important part.
[2259.5s] I have also witnessed this new website and it's real, guys.
[2265.0s] It exists in a draft form, not yet.
[2268.9s] Every once in a while, I accidentally hit publish.
[2271.4s] So then if you if you were happening to Google
[2274.9s] dumb Dumbgeons and Dragons at a very specific five minute period
[2279.1s] before I realized that I hit publish, you might have caught it.
[2282.5s] But the SEO wasn't really high, so it probably would have been pretty far down.
[2286.1s] So a lot of things had to align in order to see this one live in the wild right now.
[2290.1s] But for now, dumbdragons.com, you can sign up for the newsletter.
[2293.1s] And that'd be great. Let's get you back to that episode.
[2295.3s] OK. Love you. Bye. Bye.
[2301.4s] Cool. Lots happened.
[2303.5s] We're back to Thelonious and Varnax in like a standoff up on the dais.
[2310.6s] Well, if that's not going to work, then we'll do it the old fashioned way.
[2314.0s] And I walk up with the wand of Orcus and just two attacks right right into him.
[2319.5s] Just clocking him.
[2320.9s] OK. That's a twenty three for the first hit.
[2324.9s] Yep. Six bludgeoning, seven necrotic damage.
[2327.8s] OK. Second attack is, oh, not so good.
[2332.0s] Just an eleven.
[2333.8s] Eleven does not hit. Yeah.
[2336.3s] Hey, guys, just so you know, resistance to bludgeoning does not affect fall.
[2342.8s] It was worth checking.
[2343.7s] Technically, the ground is bludgeoning you.
[2346.2s] Exactly. I'm just telling you what I read.
[2348.5s] Technically, you're bludgeoning the ground.
[2350.7s] Oh, fair point.
[2352.1s] Yeah, there you go.
[2353.8s] Why is everybody hitting me?
[2356.1s] He snaps his fingers and like there's this fervor
[2360.3s] that comes over the the undead horde.
[2366.1s] The the ground is still reverberating.
[2369.2s] The last boulders have been falling.
[2371.1s] Do you like to make a Dex saving throw, Varnax?
[2374.2s] Would I like to make a death saving throw?
[2376.0s] A Dex. Dex.
[2377.5s] I know. I had a death too when I was like, wait, what just happened?
[2382.1s] That's very threatening. Jesus.
[2385.1s] That'll be a dirty 20. OK.
[2387.7s] Beneath you, squirming black tentacles fill a 20 foot square.
[2393.1s] He's cast Evard's black tentacles.
[2395.7s] They begin reaching up and like clubbing you.
[2398.0s] Big mistake. Half damage on not a great roll.
[2403.5s] So you're going to take five bludgeoning damage.
[2406.0s] You're not restrained, but it is difficult terrain.
[2408.8s] OK. He turns as if it worked, as if you are restrained
[2412.6s] and says, I'll deal with you later.
[2414.7s] And he turns and begins walking back towards
[2418.1s] the massacre and chaos that's happening out there.
[2421.4s] I will use my reaction to cast hellish rebuke.
[2425.5s] All right. Put my finger at the creature
[2426.9s] that damaged you is momentarily surrounded by hellish flame.
[2429.8s] Make a dexterity save, please.
[2431.7s] 13. That does not pass, by the way.
[2434.5s] And that is 23 fire damage.
[2438.7s] Oofa doofa.
[2441.2s] He turns and he's very confident walking back and then
[2444.5s] everybody else sees him encircled in flames and skin begins to bubble
[2448.4s] and he lets out this high pitch shrill call into just into the ether.
[2454.1s] It doesn't have the same kind of wave effect that he did previously
[2457.6s] as he as he falls to his knees being burned by this hellish rebuke.
[2463.2s] Who's down on the floor?
[2464.2s] Arvid's down on the floor.
[2466.1s] Lex is down on the floor.
[2467.8s] Percy is still down on the floor.
[2470.3s] Well, technically falling towards.
[2471.8s] Oh, right. Your purses, you're falling towards the floor.
[2473.8s] Yeah. Yeah.
[2474.7s] And Margaret, you're still flying. Yes. Yeah.
[2476.9s] OK. So Lex and Arvid, Arvid, Arvid
[2481.2s] is going to take 45 damage.
[2484.5s] Shit. Oh, no.
[2487.2s] And Lex, please make a strength saving throw
[2489.5s] as you are rushed at disadvantage because you're prone.
[2493.8s] Oh, great.
[2496.2s] So that's a 14.
[2498.6s] You are overwhelmed by zombies
[2503.3s] and you are going to take damage as well.
[2508.1s] It's going to be 37 bludgeoning damage.
[2512.0s] But like only 18.
[2513.6s] Yeah, that wasn't you.
[2514.6s] You didn't cut that number in half already, did you?
[2517.5s] No, that's the full damage.
[2518.7s] So Margaret's going to take 18
[2521.9s] and you're going to take. OK.
[2524.9s] Margaret, you are up.
[2527.3s] How far is Thelonious from the edge of the dais?
[2531.5s] He turned, he walked.
[2533.1s] He's probably on the like just, you know, just back
[2536.4s] no more than five feet from the edge of the staircase.
[2540.0s] OK, then I'm going to fly down and
[2544.1s] do a shield strike and and try to move him five feet
[2546.8s] and tumble him down the stairs.
[2548.3s] Cool. Yeah, yeah, sure.
[2550.0s] I don't know what this would be.
[2551.3s] Is it a strength saving throw?
[2552.9s] Maybe it just says that I can attempt to shove someone five feet.
[2556.1s] Shield master shove.
[2557.5s] If you take the attack action on your turn, you can use a bonus action.
[2561.2s] So you would have to attack, but then you could also shove them five feet.
[2565.1s] OK. 26 to hit.
[2569.0s] Yeah, that definitely hits.
[2571.1s] It's an aggressive shove.
[2572.1s] Do they happen to be a fiend or undead?
[2574.5s] Negative. OK, 10 points of damage.
[2577.0s] And then the embarrassment of falling down the stairs
[2579.7s] of your own dais that you constructed.
[2583.9s] Awesome. It's the pain that hurts the worst.
[2586.2s] Yeah, right.
[2588.6s] You fly down with your shield and Hercules like crash into this
[2593.5s] Thelonious, who's who is like a blaze.
[2597.0s] He lets out like a
[2599.5s] as he shoved and
[2602.2s] falls down to the ground.
[2604.9s] Yeah, then whatever movement I have left, I'm just going to start
[2607.2s] moving towards Lex. OK.
[2609.7s] Does it say what your flying speed is?
[2612.4s] Same as my walking speed, so 30 feet.
[2614.9s] OK, so you begin moving.
[2617.2s] You're not going to you won't be able to make it to either
[2620.0s] Perseus or Lex this time. Yeah.
[2623.4s] Speaking of Perseus, it's been about three seconds.
[2627.3s] Any any anything on that character sheet you found to soften
[2630.9s] the blow of a 250 foot fall?
[2634.5s] I mean, I don't really think I would have the time to do it.
[2638.2s] Right. Like it would be at the end of my.
[2641.8s] Falling is when my turn would start.
[2645.1s] OK. I mean, unless you disagree with I don't.
[2648.7s] I just maybe you had a reaction, maybe you.
[2653.2s] I mean, I'll double check.
[2654.6s] Hang on. You've got until I can find how much fall damage is.
[2657.9s] I think it's a D6 for every 10 feet.
[2660.6s] Oh, you forget.
[2661.7s] It sure is to a max of 20.
[2663.6s] OK, D6, D6.
[2668.3s] Oh, no, I'm going to hit enter.
[2670.9s] How many feet is he falling?
[2672.1s] He's falling 250.
[2673.9s] All right. I have one bonus action and it is not helpful.
[2679.5s] OK.
[2683.1s] Do you want to use it, though, or anything?
[2686.0s] He's like, yeah, I play the flute on the way.
[2690.8s] It's a little penny whistle going.
[2693.7s] OK, just a slide was a real slow slide whistle.
[2698.0s] Oh, he just plays himself like.
[2703.5s] So mechanically, you're going to take seventy five
[2709.3s] falling damage.
[2711.4s] OK, you fall and you hit hard onto the stone floor
[2716.2s] and you feel arms break, legs break.
[2723.2s] You begin to.
[2725.6s] You're bleeding from many different places.
[2729.2s] That's going to say everywhere. Yeah.
[2731.7s] As you, your vision begins to go black
[2736.7s] as you see undead close in over top of you.
[2741.2s] This is the worst, you guys.
[2743.5s] There's three of you with undead on top of you.
[2746.1s] You know, it's pretty bad.
[2748.3s] I mean, normally, our food would be into it, but not this time.
[2752.9s] It's not every undead.
[2754.5s] Brings us back to those services.
[2756.1s] That's right. The services.
[2762.8s] Lex, you are clawing back and trying to get out of the
[2767.3s] out of the undead at the back of this chamber
[2770.1s] so far away from everybody else.
[2771.8s] Make a strength saving throw.
[2775.7s] Thirteen.
[2779.8s] Margaret, as you're flying towards, you see arms,
[2783.0s] the arms of Lex shooting up and out of these,
[2786.0s] trying to pull the undead off, but they're just too many
[2789.5s] and they're coming too fast.
[2790.9s] Margaret, you're moving as quick as you can to get back to Lex.
[2795.7s] As you pass over, you see Percy.
[2798.0s] Well, I mean, you saw a Perseus fall and hit the ground.
[2802.4s] You see them quickly overrun and you see a horde of zombies
[2809.2s] at one spot in the center.
[2813.4s] And then you look over your shoulder and you see lifting up from the ground
[2819.1s] the last bits of flame around Thelonious, who is hovering
[2824.5s] up and above and moving back towards the dais
[2827.7s] and turning to look at at Varnax, which just
[2831.8s] you see this look of disdain and hatred
[2835.1s] and just every fiber in this person's body is just vibrating
[2841.2s] and coming towards you, Varnax.
[2843.7s] And then we hear this crack.
[2850.2s] Undead in the center of this cavern are blasted back and away.
[2855.3s] And this large blue light emits
[2859.0s] and rumbles through this cavern, knocking boulders down.
[2863.2s] Margaret, you make it just to Lex and you manage to clear off
[2867.0s] as much of the undead. Lex, you're, I mean,
[2871.1s] probably take another 50 bludgeoning damage.
[2873.4s] Yeah, just another 50. Don't worry about it.
[2875.6s] It's a little bit.
[2877.8s] You pull them off and you're trying to clear Lex.
[2881.9s] You're near towards where
[2885.3s] the entrance to this cavern is.
[2887.3s] You came in, which feels like so long ago,
[2889.4s] but was probably only like a minute and 30 seconds.
[2892.7s] And you're making your way, trying to get to a little bit of cover
[2895.3s] from some of the boulders that have fallen.
[2897.3s] And in the middle of this light
[2899.6s] that is just emitted, we see
[2903.2s] well, Margaret and Lex.
[2904.9s] Lex, your little eyes are glossy and covered over.
[2909.3s] But Margaret, you see Thea and what you recognize as Flint,
[2913.8s] along with a small red haired pigtailed gnome
[2918.8s] who are standing around looking confused and dazed
[2923.1s] as they have clearly come from somewhere.
[2925.6s] The undead are quickly rushing back to them.
[2927.9s] And there's another crack off into the distance.
[2930.3s] And a tall goliath falls down from slightly elevated
[2935.0s] and crushes down to the ground.
[2936.7s] Night Hunter's going to take 26 bludgeoning damage.
[2941.2s] Fine.
[2943.0s] As Thelonious turns at this, just away from you slightly,
[2947.7s] Vorunax and looks and says, what?
[2952.8s] What is happening?
[2957.9s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season two, episode 119,
[2967.0s] starring Carla Maxted as Lex, Tom Laird as Perseus,
[2970.7s] Amy More as Night Hunter, with Kyle Claset as Vorunax,
[2974.2s] Rev DeShane as Margaret, and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[2977.7s] Editing, production and sound design by Russ More.
[2980.5s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
[2982.9s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[2986.9s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2988.9s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2992.5s] Christian Brown, Devon Michaels, Craig Zeiss,
[2995.3s] Erin Stevens, Darylith, Lulahan, Charlie Warley and L.A.
[2998.9s] Branton. To support Dumbgeons and Dragons
[3000.9s] and our many other productions and get access to an exclusive podcast
[3004.4s] called The Adventures Of, bonus episodes and much more,
[3007.3s] please join our Patreon at Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[3011.5s] Miss The Last Live Show?
[3012.7s] Support the shows today, help us reach 100 patrons,
[3015.4s] and we'll host another improv live show exclusively for our patrons.
[3019.9s] Have a great week. We'll talk again soon.
[3026.6s] I want to find out what what he's going to do with his goods and services.
[3030.9s] Oh, my God.
[3032.7s] The goods, I understood the services.
[3034.7s] I don't need to know anymore.
[3037.9s] The specific of those can be kept.
[3039.9s] My goods and services, like, what are you doing with those undead?
[3044.0s] Oh, God.
[3048.3s] Carolyn, I make an icon.
[3049.3s] I know. And then I had to just like look away, laughing too much.
[3065.8s] Is that what's playing during this whole fight?
[3067.7s] Because that's kind of disconcerting.
[3070.0s] I mean, it's good music for a fight.
[3072.1s] I know. It would be pretty fun to do.
[3073.9s] To do to do to do to do to do to do since the beginning of this episode.
[3079.3s] It's just in there and I like I'm listening.
[3081.9s] But that's our other game that that theme comes to play, Amy.
[3085.3s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.